Living with a Dementia Parent

Never thought I would be the one taking care of my mother. She was a hard-working woman all my life. She worked at Red River, Thiokol and owned her own business. She did carpentry work and could sew better than any other I know. I have been living with her for seven years and I have watched my mother leave me more each day.

Dementia is an umbrella term used to describe a range of neurological conditions affecting the brain that worsen over time, it is the loss of the ability to think, remember and reason to levels that affect daily life and activities. About one-third of all people aged 85 or older may have some form of dementia as they grow older.

Dementia is the result of changes in certain brain regions that cause neurons {nerve cells} and their connections to stop working properly. Symptoms may include memory loss, poor judgment and confusion. I thank God that he has prepared me for this situation in my life. I have people tell me all the time, take time for yourself, get out and enjoy your life before you get too old. Take a vacation, get a break.

But my mother dealt with my bad self for 20-plus years, I owe her this and I love her.

She tells me all the time; I was her bad child. I have other siblings that help with her, some do not want to admit she has a problem and I understand that. We all would like to keep our mother the way she was.

I have seen a lot of people with this illness; people of all races.

I did not know that God was preparing me for this but I met my sixth-grade teacher a few years ago and her husband had dementia and he used to be a principal of the grade school.

I helped her out a little and would sit with him while she ran errands. Then I saw another old teacher and her mother had it. She couldn’t remember some people, but she knew me and was glad to see me.

As soon as she left me with her, she told me she wanted to go home; she did not know who the woman holding her was. I realized that smart people were forgetting everything. These were people I enjoyed talking with and would give me good advice.

No one talked about it much, just kept their own little secrets.

My mother asked me to move in with her, although I had an old house of my own, and told her I would think about it. This was 2016 when she asked me.

I was dating a very nice lady who was taking care of her mother who had dementia, so I saw it again.

I never thought something was wrong with my mother, because she still talked well and remembered everyone.

My house caught on fire in 2017 and burned down with no home insurance. The churches gave me money but not enough to rebuild.

I guess God wanted me over here with my mother and I am glad I did come over. I did not know her thinking was off and none of my siblings saw it either.

Every day I see my mother leaving me. She remembers names and people, but it’s getting away from her. I thank God, I still have her because many people couldn’t take care of their mother.

They either put them in a nursing home or a center. My life has been ups and downs, but my mother was always there for me. She tells me all the time she wouldn’t believe it would be me taking care of her.

So, I write this because I know many more people are taking care of their parents also. It’s our duty to do this. It keeps us alert and going to make sure they don’t fall, overflow the tub or sink, misplace things. It keeps us alert.

You can get online and get support from Dementia.com. which gives good suggestions and what to do in some situations.