Katherine Stubbs: A tribute to a life well lived
No matter where you live, or in what era you are raised, each generation has at least one member that is as close to perfect as a human can be. That person seems to be loved by everyone and no one can recall hearing even one negative thing about them.
For my generation growing up in Atlanta, that person was Katherine Ann Allday Stubbs. News of her death on December 18 left a cloud of sadness in the air throughout the local holiday festivities.
So loved was she, that her memorial service was held at the high school auditorium to accommodate the large crowd. The Atlanta High School Class of 1980 had a reserved section that was close to full; as did her AISD coworkers.
Until her sons, Drew and Clint, were out of school, Katherine and husband, Rick, ran Alldays Department Store. They were the fifth generation of the family to manage one of the town’s oldest businesses. After 129 years, they made the difficult decision to close the store in 2004.
Because she had never been one to just relax and take it easy, Katherine went back to school to earn her teaching degree and was hired by her alma mater as the music teacher at the primary school. She tackled that second career with the eagerness and zeal that was her trademark.
It’s rare that a person is able to combine their two biggest loves into a successful career, but Katherine did. She loved children and music, and she loved teaching children to love music as much as she did.
On November 11, 2020, Katherine brought a group of students to perform at the Veteran’s Day Celebration in downtown Atlanta. The next day she collapsed at school and was taken to the hospital. Tests revealed a glioblastoma – a very aggressive malignant brain tumor.
Only two days after the diagnosis, Katherine had surgery. According to the website for the Journal of Clinical Oncology, the post-surgery survival rate is an overall median of 14.6 months before taking into account such variables as age, sex, symptoms, etc.
Given that dire prognosis, her family urged her to rest, but Katherine was undaunted. She insisted on finishing the school year because, as she told Clint, “that is where I feel most alive.”
“We never gave up. We both thought we could beat this thing,” said Rick. “So we didn’t prepare for her not being here. We both said from day one that we would never say ‘why me.’”
At the memorial service, Drew and Clint gave us some insight into her last year on earth. Close friend Donna Rice and cousin Frank Allday spoke of the inner beauty and positive energy she carried throughout life.
Those in my generation remember her being a talented majorette and, as Ted Brabham’s dance partner, a regular winner at the weekly dances held at the National Guard Armory. Morgan Sweatman and I came in second more times than I remember – we only had a chance to win first place when Katherine and Ted weren’t there.
“We grew up together like brother and sister,” said Ted. “We won every disco dance between here and Dallas. I will truly miss my ‘Ginger Rogers’ dancing partner.”
Katherine and I had sons the same age and they were classmates until graduating in 2003. Like Katherine, Drew shared his mother’s aura of near-perfection, excelling at everything he attempted - sports and academia alike. He continued to succeed, following college with a successful career in Major League Baseball.
Katherine and Rick enjoyed travelling to Drew’s games to cheer him on. You could see the joy and pride on her face when she spoke of her boys. If you asked how she was doing, you got a brief but positive answer; ask how her boys were and she could talk for hours.
As a writer for the Texarkana Gazette in 2019, I asked if she could arrange an interview with Drew to discuss his retirement from baseball. The interview was conducted via telephone and as Rick and I sat on the back patio speaking to Drew, Katherine – ever the ultimate hostess - brought a tray of drinks and snacks.
Throughout our boys’ lives, we shared the sidelines and volunteered with other parents. I still have the handwritten hot cocoa recipe she gave me when they were in high school. Opportunities to use it have been few, as it is meant to serve an army.
Although we weren’t close, we were always on the peripheral of each other’s lives – school, band, life-guarding at Indian Hill Country Club, community dances and events, and supporting our boys.
Our families are intertwined in the fabric of our local history. The Alldays and Howes were founding families and have been business owners, bank presidents and we both have Atlanta mayors in our lineage. Our lives have intersected much like the streets named after our ancestors.
As humans often do, we take for granted those people who have always been there and assume they will always be. It’s hard to imagine an Atlanta, Texas without Katherine in it – but, oh what a legacy she has left our little town,
“There are several things she would want people to remember about her,” said Rick. “She had a very strong faith, she loved her family above all things and she always saw the good in everyone.”
“Gift. Grief. Gratitude…we feel all of this at once. Katherine was a gift to all of us; we are grieving because she’s gone; and our hearts are filled with gratitude for having known her,” said Donna Rice during the memorial. “Katherine would tell us all to serve well, love well, pray well, hope well, give well, and speak well. She did all of those things and she did them with excellence. She was a Proverbs 31 woman: ‘Many women do noble things, but she surpasses them all.’”